Pallav's Collection Of Jokes

TWO WOMEN TALKING:
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Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she
gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too
fluffy looking?

Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair
cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm
pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is
adorable. And you could easily get one of those
layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was
actually going to do that except that I was afraid
it would accent my long neck.

Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have
your neck! Anything to take attention away from
these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would
love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so
well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short
they are? If I had your shoulders I could get
clothes to fit me so much
easier.......................

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NOW TWO MEN TALKING
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Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.


~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a
couple of weeks ago.

While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting
comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.

I was meeting a very important client who was also
flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit
late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I
approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself,

and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a
favor." "Yes?"

"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at
the bar,

"and I'm waiting for a very important client.

Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk
by and just say "Hi Tom?"

"Sure."

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my
seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up.

We ordered a drink and started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my
shoulder.

It Was Bill Gates. "Hi, Tom," he said.

I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."

NASA was getting ready to launch a very important
space shuttle. The scientists and engineers checked
and double-checked everything to make sure that things
are fine. However, on the day of our launch, something
seemed to be wrong. The rocket gave all sorts of noise
but never took off even an inch from the ground. The
engineers were puzzled because they could not figure
out the problem.

Finally, a Sardarji offered to help. The NASA people
were desperate by that time and agreed to do anything.
"Tilt the rocket 45 degrees to the right," said the
Sardarji. The engineers were puzzled but did it
anyway. "Bring it back to vertical position" the
Sardarji said. The engineers did. "Now start the
engines," he said. To the engineers surprise, the
rocket took off
and flew into outer space!

Everybody congratulated him and asked him how he knew
what to do. He replied "It's very simple. This is what
we always do with our
Bajaj scooters in India."

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