Thursday, June 30, 2005
Banta Explains His Adventure
He had gone to a remote village on some work and due to his high level ofintelligence, couldn't finish the work on time.
He had missed the last bus from that place. He couldn't find any Hotel. So he approached a nearby house and asked the owner whether he can stay therefor the night.
The Owner replied "I have 2 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow youto stay."
He approached the next house and asked whether he can stay there for thenight.The Owner replied,"I have 3 grown up daughters. Sorry, I can't allow you tostay."
He went towards the next house and without taking any risks,asked, "Do you have grown up daughters?"The Owner asked,"WHY?????????"Banta replied, "I wanted to stay here for a night ....."
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
One of his friend advises him todo research in zoology. So the surd decides to do his research in zoology,that too with a Frog.
He first keeps the frog on a table and asks it tojump. It jumps.Now he cuts one of its legs and keeps it over the table.
Again he asks it to jump. Again frog jumps.
Getting boosted by this development, now he cuts another leg and asks thefrog to jump. The frog jumps again.
Getting wondered about it, now he cuts the third leg and again asks it tojump. The frog jumps.
Now he could not control the suspense and cuts the fourth leg and ask thefrog to jump. It doesn't.
Immediately the surd writes in his thesis "Ifyou cut all the four legs of a frog, it will become deaf."
Sardar And Mosquito
Saturday, June 25, 2005
Santa Goes To Kashmir
Santa Singh : Who is speaking?
Sardar : Servant Sir.
Santa Singh : Where is the Madam?
Sardar : She is sleeping with her husband in bedroom.
Santa Singh : What? I am her husband came to Kashmir today.
Sardar : What can I do now sir?
Santa Singh : Open the cub board, pick the Gun, shoot both of them, comeback and tell me, till then I am waiting in the line.
After some time ... there comes 2 shooting sounds ... after that ...
Sardar : Yes, I did Sir. But what can i do next Sir?
Santa Singh : Open the back door, throw both of them into the swimmingpool
Sardar : There is no swimming pool in our house Sir
Santa Singh : What...? No swimming pool?
Sardar : Yes Sir
Santa Singh : Sorry, wrong number !!!!!!!!
Friday, June 24, 2005
Sardars Start Their Business
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started thegarage. The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but nocar entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2 days , a week but no car came to their garage. WHY? B'cos their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look forpassengers. They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi. WHY ? B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldnt budge. WHY? B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Balbir Goes To Watch Cricket match
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Experience At Call Centre
Call center at its peak....... Read it and enjoy
it.....
who's on first?
This is a twist on the old "Who's on First" routine.
Costello Wants to buy a Computer from Abbott
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den,
and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the names Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my names Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in
the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer
and software.
ABBOTT: Software for windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can
use to write proposals,
track expenses and run my business. What have you
got?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend
anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend office with windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office and it has windows!
OK,
lets just say, I'm sitting at my computer and I want
to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W."
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you
don't start with some straight answers.
OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the Internet?
ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon.
What I watch is none of your business. Just tell me
what I need!
ABBOTT: Real One.
COSTELLO: If its a long movie I also want to see reel
2, 3 and 4. Can I watch them?
ABBOTT: Of course.
COSTELLO: Great, with what?
ABBOTT: Real One. COSTELLO; OK, I'm at my computer and
I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
ABBOTT: You click the blue "1."
COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
ABBOTT: The blue "1."
COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?
ABBOTT: The blue 1 is Real One and the blue W is Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for
windows"!
ABBOTT: No, just one. but its the most popular Word in
the world.
COSTELLO: It is?
ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other
Words left.
It Pretty much wiped out all the other Words.
COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One
isn't even Part of Office.
COSTELLO: Stop! Don't start that again.
What about financial bookkeeping you have anything I
can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled to my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer?
How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(LATER)...
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??
ABBOTT: Click on "START"........
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Interesting Quotes By Navjot Singh Sidhu
Many are good. (even though some may stretch too far)
1.That ball went so high it could have got an
airhostess down with it.
2.There is light at the end of the tunnel for India,
but it's that of an incoming train which will run them
over.
3.Experience is like a comb that life gives you when
you are bald.
4.Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian
taximeter.
5.Wickets are like wives - you never know which way
they will turn!
6.He is like Indian three-wheeler, which will suck a
lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!
7. In London they drive on the left, in India we drive
on what is left!
8. The world is all about mind and matter, I don't
mind and U don't matter...
9.The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell
you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the
whole world, which does not have wings!
10.As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
11.The ball whizzes past like a bumblebee and the
Indians are in the sea.
12.The India! ns are finding the gaps like a pin in a
haystack.
13.The pitch is as dead as a dodo.
14.Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a small child is in
a bar!
15.The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the
cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala..! one
falls and everything else falls!
16.Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss
without a Squeeze.
17.You cannot make Omlets without breaking the eggs.
18.Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a
goalkeeper. He must be given a free transfer to
Manchester United.
19.He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first
two bites too.
20.One, who doesn't throw the dice, can never expect
to score a six.
21.The third umpires should be changed as often as
nappies and for the same reason.
22.Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
23.Nobody travels on the road to success without a
puncture or two.
24.You got to choose between tightening your belt or
losing your pants.
25.The cat with gloves catches no mice.
26.Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming
youth.
27.You may have a heart of gold, but so does! a
hard-boiled egg.
28.He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking
competition.
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Happy FIshing
A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at
Lakes Entrance. The husband likes to fish at the crack
of dawn.
The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of
fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lakes
area,
the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out
a short
distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.
Along comes a fishing
inspector in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good
morning ma'am.
What are you doing?" "Reading a book," she replies
thinking "isn't that obvious!"
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer,
but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know
you could start at any
moment. I'll have to take you in and make a
report."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual
assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the man.
"That's true, but you have
all the equipment. For all I know you could start
at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.............
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Tuesday, June 07, 2005
PAKISTANI POLITICIAN
A Pakistani politician went to the US to visit his
counterpart. When the
senator invited him home for dinner, the minister
was very impressed by the
lavish mansion, grounds and the costly furnishings.
He asked, "How can you afford all this on a meager
senator's salary?"
The senator smiled knowingly and took him to the
window.
"Can you see the river?"
"Yes"
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
"Of course", said the minister.
"10 percent", said the senator smugly.
Some time later, he had occasion to pay a return
visit. The Pakistani
minister lavished all hospitality on him. When they
came to his house, the
American was stunned by the huge palace the minister
had built, glittering
with precious art, hundreds of servants etc etc.
"How can you possibly afford this, on a salary in
Pakistani Rupees," he
asked.
The minister called him to the window.
"See the river over there?"
"Sure", cried the senator.
"Can you see the bridge over it?"
The senator looked, was confused, peered closely and
said, "No, I don't see
any bridge."
"100 percent", said the minister !!
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Monday, June 06, 2005
Sherlock Holmes
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, creator of the fictional
detective Sherlock Holmes, told of a time when he
climbed into a taxi cab in Paris. Before he could
utter a word, the driver turned to him and asked,
"Where can I take you, Mr. Doyle?"
Doyle was flabbergasted, He asked the driver if he
had ever seen him before.
"No, sir," the driver responded, "I have never seen
you before."
Then he explained, "This morning's paper had a story
about you being on vacation in Marseilles. This is
the taxi stand where people who return from
Marseilles always come to. Your skin color tells me
you have been on vacation. The ink-spot on your
right index finger suggests to me that you are a
writer. Your clothing is very English, and not
French. Adding up all those pieces of information, I
deduced that you are Sir Arthur Conan Doyle."
"This is truly amazing!" the writer exclaimed. "You
are a real-life counter-part to my fictional
creation, Sherlock Holmes!"
"There is one other thing," the driver said.
"What is that?"
"Your name is on the front of your suitcase."
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