Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Sardar - Sher Ka Bachcha
trying to open his suitcase to take out his night dress, but he was unable
to open it. Pathan came and opened the suitcase and said " Pathan Sher ka
bachcha hai" and went off .
After an hour sardar was busy in opening his lunch box, but he could not
open it. Pathan came, opened the box and said "Pathan Sher ka bachcha hai"
and went off .
After some time sardar was trying to open the door of the toilet but he
could not. Again Pathan came and opened it with one kick and said " Pathan
Sher ka bachcha hai"
This time sardar became angry he asked pathan "oye muzhe ek gal bata, teri
ma jungle gayi thi ya sher tere ghar aaya tha?" and went off
Monday, May 23, 2005
High-Tech American, Japanese and Banta Singh
Three men - an American, a Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting in the
sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his
forearm and the beep stoped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That
was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm."
A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear.
When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a
microchip in my hand."
Banta felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do
something just as impressive. He steped out of the sauna and went to
toilet. He returns with a piece of 'Toilet paper' hanging from his butt.
The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" "I'm
getting a fax," he explains.
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Logical Reasoning
Santa Singh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, one of his non-sardar friends came home.
Friend: Santa Singh How is your MBA preparation?
Santa Singh : Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.
Friend: Logic is very easy.
Santa Singh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.
Friend: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, there will be water in it.
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, there will be fish in it.
Santa: YES.
Friend: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Friend: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Santa: YES.
Friend: so, logically, your are married.
Santa: YES.
Friend: So, that means you are a heterosexual.
Santa Singh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees
Banta Singh and he was also preparing for MBA.
Santa: How is your MBA preparation?
Banta: Everything is fine except for the logic.
Santa: Oh, logic is easy.
Banta: Please, give me an example.
Santa: Do you have a fish pot in your house?
Banta: NO, I don't.
Santa: Saala HOMO!!!
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Banta The Detective
One day, Banta, along with his two friends, one being Polish and the otherbeing an American went to the police station to get jobs as cops. However, they would have to answer only one question. The Polish person went into the room.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
Polish: The Catholics.
Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got the
job.
The American goes next.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
American: The Jews.
Detective: Good answer. In an hour or so, we'll tell you if you got the
job.
Banta is next.
Detective: Who killed Jesus?
Banta: You have to give me more time. Can I tell you tomorrow?
Detective: Sure, take as much time as you want.
Banta then went home and he finds his wife making dinner.
Wife: How did your interview go, sweetheart.
Banta: It went very well. I'm on my very first murder case.
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Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Santa's Letter to Bill Gates
Dear Bill Gates,
This letter is from Santa Singh from Punjab. We have
got a computer in our home and we face some Problem,
which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to Internet we planned to open an
email account. But when ever we fill the Form of
Hotmail, in password field only * comes. But in rest
of the fields whatever we typed comes but we faced
The problem only in Password field.
We checked with Hardware vendor and he said that
there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we
have opened the email account with password *****.
But I request u to check this as we our self don't
know what is the password!!!
The next one is that we are unable to enter anything
after we shut down the computer. There is a button
for start but not for pause, stop as in stereo
recorder, We request you to add the same in future.
There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of my
neighbor after clicking started running and he has
run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request u
change that to SIT. So that we can click that by
sitting.
One doubt is that can I click Re-cycle bin. I own a
scooter in my home. Is there a separate option as
Re-scooter bin available in the system?
In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the outer
view of the mail. Is there an in look through which
we can have inner view of the mail?
The last one is my wife has lost the door key of our
house. So I searched for the same in search option
of start icon, But I did not find the same there, Is
it a bug?
Rest In next letter.
Yours Anonymously,
Santa Singh
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Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Sardarji Tussi Great Ho !
Srdr: I haven't slept all night in the train.
Frnd: why?
Srdr: Got upper berth.
Frnd: Why didn't you exchange seats?
Srdr: oye, there was nobody to exchange with in
the lower berth..
Sardar tells a girl "Come 2 my house at nite,
nobody will be there............. Girl goes at night & there was
nobody at home
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India
after Every 10 sec a Woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Sardar had twins; he named them Tin & Martin.
Again had twins & named Peter & Repeater.
again twins & named Max & Climax.
Again the same. disgusted Sardar named them TIRED
& RETIRED!
Srdr gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out,
climbs tree, sits on the Branch regularly. A man asks why he does this.
Srdr:"I've been promoted to branch manager."
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as
to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to
his college.
Why?
Because he wanted to check where the question
paper is leaking...
Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It"s Already raining.
Sardar: So what, take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
- O Yaar, what ever you order first will come
first.
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver This packet to you
Sardar:- Why did you come so far. You could have
posted it....
Sardar proposed to a Girl......Girl said 'I'm 1 year elder to
you'...........
Sardar said 'Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry
you NEXT YEAR.
Sardar's wish :when i die, I wana die like my
grandpa who died Peacefully in his sleep,
not screaming like all the passengers in the car
he was driving..
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is What you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that is a
mirror!
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes
walking at evening not
In the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai
Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
Man says 'CHIN YU YAN' and dies.
Srdr goes to china to find meaning of his
friend's last words.
. it is : 'YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN PIPE !!"
Yahoo! India Matrimony: Find your life partner online.
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Sunday, May 01, 2005
If You Love Something
If You Love Something
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Original Version:
If you love something,
Set it free...
If it comes back, it's yours,
If it doesn't, it never was yours....
The Pessimist Version:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she ever comes back, she's yours,
If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.
The Optimist Version:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Don't worry, she will come back.
The Playful Version
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, and if you love her still,
Set her free again, repeat *
The Lawyer's Version:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second
amendment of the matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that...
The Bill Gates Version:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back,
I think we can charge her for reinstallation fees
and tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade.
The Possessive Version:
If you love somebody,
Don't ever set her free.
The Psychologist's Version:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, her super ego is dominant,
If she doesn't come back, her id is supreme,
If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.
The Marketing Version:
If you love somebody,
Set her free...
If she comes back, she has brand loyalty
If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.
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People actually write such applications
This is an actual collection of leave letters and applications written by people.
1. An employee applied for leave as follows: Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.
2. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows: "Since I've to go to the cremation ground and I may not return, Please grant me half day casual leave"
3. A candidate's application: "This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist and an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past several years and I can handle both, I am applying for the post.
4. A friend of mine had written a leave letter to the headmaster: "As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"
5. A family friend of ours told an incident of his friend's letter "I am suffering from fever, please declare holiday to the school"
6. Another leave letter written to the headmaster: "As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day".
7. A covering note "I am enclosed herewith..."
8. Another leave letter written to Administration dept: "As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."
9. Actual letter written for application of leave: "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".
10. Letter writing: - "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."
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