Monday, February 20, 2006

 

Area 51


You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as Area 51?

Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their secret base, They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room.

The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation.

By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-thing" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way.

The next day, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... only this time there were two people in the plane.

The same pilot jumped out and said,Do anything you want to me, lock me up, throw away the key, ANYTHING you want! But my wife is in the plane with me and you have GOT to tell her where I was last night!


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# posted by Pallav Lodha @ 9:25 PM 0 comments

Thursday, February 16, 2006

 

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.
You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads Floor 4 -These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!”
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 -These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads: Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof
that women are impossible to please.Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


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# posted by Pallav Lodha @ 1:49 AM 0 comments
 

Call center @ bollywood

What will happen IF film stars worked for call centers.....????
Amitabh: Thank you for calling customer care... rishte mein to hum tumhare
baap lagate hain filhaal ek customer care rep hain...
Customer: (angrily) I NEED YOUR MANAGER
Amitabh: Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne mere baap ko chor kaha tha..
Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao jisne meri maa ko gaali dekar naukri se
nikaal diya tha.. Jaao pehle uske manager ko laao! jisne mere haath pe yeh likh diya tha... uske baad uske baad mere bhai.. Tum jis manager ko kahoge main laaonga...
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Dharmendra: Thank you for callllllliiiiingggg.....
Customer: I need help.
Dharmendra: main aaraahoon maa...
Customer: I am unable to use your product... its waste and worthless.
Dharmendra: Kutte mein tera khoon peejaaonga...
Customer: What!!! I need your manager.
Dharmendra: (To his manager) Manager is customer ke saamne nahi naachna.
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Shatru: Aaaaaiiin Kis ullllu ke patthe ne call kiya hai...
Customer: How dare you speak like that?
Shatru: Khaaaamoshhhhh... seedhi tarah bolde issue kya hai....
warna...haaaaaaaaa!!!
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Asrani: hah ! haaaaaaa naya kabutar ne call kiya.
Customer: I lost my invoice
Asrani: Hah haaaaaaaa hamare jasoos kone kone mein phaile hue hain miljayegi hum angrezon ke zamaane ke rep hain..haahhaaa.
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Kestu Mukherji: Iiiiiihhhhye....
Customer: hi
Kestu Mukherji: iiiihhhyeee tumko.... tumko kya problem hai?
Customer: I have not received my product.
Kestu Mukherji: To saale (hicup) main kya karoon.. Police mien report likha...
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Shakti: AAAuuuuuu...mera naam hai balllllllllma. Thank you for calling
aaauuuuu.
Customer: I need your manager.
Shakti: Mujhse baat karona.. Main ek chhota sa, nanha sa, pyarasa...rep hooon..
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Ajit: Saara shehar mujhe Lion ke naam se jaanta hai...! .. May I know your name please.
Customer: Mona
Ajit: Mona darling... tumne hamein call kyun kiya.
Customer: (Angrily) I WANT YOUR MANAGER
Ajit: Mona dear.. Agar hum tumhe hamara manager dedenge to hamein manage
kaun karega....
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Gabbar: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ....Jo dargaya wo maraga... batao tumhen kya chahiye
Customer: I want to buy a product from your company.
Gabbar: Kitne paise hai re?
Customer: $ 10.00
Gabbar: Suvvar Ke baccho... sirf... $10.00...dhikkaar hai.
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Rajkumar: Jaani..... Tumhara ye call bahut keemti hai.. Ise cut mat karna
Customer: I lost my invoice.
Rajkumar: Jaani... ye invoice hai.. Bacchon ke khelne ki cheez nahi.
Customer: shut up.. I need my invoice sent to me in 10 minutes... otherwise I will speak to your manager.
R! ajkumar: Dhamki kisi aur ko jaakar dena... manager humko dara sake manager
mein itna dum nahi... humse hai manager... manager se hum nahi...
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Shahrukh: Thank you for kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkalling
Customer hangs up the phone...

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# posted by Pallav Lodha @ 1:37 AM 0 comments